From Brenda:
You know you're living in the 21st Century when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.
14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.:)
17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
20. You actually scrolled back up! to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
From Tom:
Subject: What is love?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love. Rebecca - age 8
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth. Billy - age 4
Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other. Karl - age 5
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs. Chrissy - age 6
Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. Terri - age 4
Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK. Danny - age 7
Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss. Emily -age 8
Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen. Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. Nikka - age 6
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday. Noelle - age 7
Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well. Tommy - age 6
My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night. Clare - age 6
Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken. Elaine-age 5
Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford. Chris - age 7
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day. Mary Ann - age 4
I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones. Lauren - age 4
You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget. Jessica - age 8
From Babe:
Try to answer these without looking ahead to the answers.
1. There's one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. What is it?
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defense, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball?
5. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
6. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
7. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw." They are all common. Name two of them.
8. There are fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name half of them?
9. Where are the lakes that are referred to in the "Los Angeles Lakers?"
10. There are seven ways a baseball player can legally reach first base without getting a hit. Taking a base on balls--a walk--is one way. Name the other six.
11. It's the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. What is it?
12. Name six or more things that you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter "s."
If you're ready, keep scrolling for the answers.
ANSWERS:
1. Boxing.
2. Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about 2 and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
3. Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. Baseball.
5. Strawberry.
6. The pear grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the whole growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
7. Dwarf, dwell, and dwindle.
8. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
9. In Minnesota. The team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers and kept the name when they moved west.
10. Batter hit by a pitch; catcher interference; catcher drops third strike; fielder's choice; a fielder's error and being designated as a pinch runner.
11. Lettuce.
12 . Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, snowshoes, stockings.
From Eloise
Facts of life:
1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever absolutely hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4 A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. Without you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique, in your own way.
9. Someone that you don't know even exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good will come from it.
11. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look -- you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.
13. Always remember compliments you received, forgetthe rude remarks.
14.Always tell someone how you feel about them; youwill feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they're great.
From Terry
RESIGNATION
I am hereby officially tendering
my resignation as an adult. I have
decided I would like to accept the
responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple; when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
All you knew was to be happy
because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair.
That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is
possible. I want to be oblivious
to the complexities of life and be
overly excited by the little things
again.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of
smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth,
justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.
So . . . here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my RRSP statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this
further, you'll have to catch me
first, cause........
....."Tag! You're it."
From Babe:
WHICH NEWSPAPER DO YOU READ?
The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
The Washington Post is read by people who think they ought to run the country.
USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't understand the Washington Post.
The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time.
The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country.
The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something scandalous.
The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it.
The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R's: Respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
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6 p.m.
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Asheville
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1
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On time
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6:30 p.m.
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Duluth
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1
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On time
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Holly, Michigan:
Cold Spring, New York:
Williston, North Dakota:
Long Beach, Washington:
Jonesboro, Arkansas:
Whitewater, Wis:
Mullins, S.C.:
Indianapolis, Ind.:
Previous Stops
M E M O S
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From the Stationmaster:
Coffeedrome has welcomed Internet travelers since February, 1999
More than visitors have stopped by. They have come from
countries.
There were visitors in January.
Thanks for dropping in. Please invite your friends to do the same
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FROM JACK
Top 45 Oxymorons:
45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt Head
26. Military Intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Childproof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct Life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
1. Microsoft Works
Judy's Favorites:
Jumbo
shrimp
Painless dentistry
No-fault divorce
Happily married
Child-proof container
Religious tolerance
One size fits all
From Rebecca
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
In English, he said, a double negative forms a positive.
In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.
However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.
A voice from the back of the room piped up,
Yeah, right.
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Rex Mays is really good.
CONTRIBUTORS
Coffeedrome is open
to everyone.
There is room here to
display your imagination,
your creativity, your
hobbies, your interests.
Here's a guide:
The Diner Room
Recipes for dishes
that people really like.
The Friends Area
Don't be shy about
your writing, your art,
the ways you choose to
express yourself. Regard
this as a refrigerator door
on the Internet.
The Neighborhood
There's a place to
display your hobbies,
and a place to pass
along suggestions for
books to read.
E-Mail to
Coffeedrome
Regular Mail to
Coffeedrome
c/o Bob
35 Brookside Circle
Bronxville, NY
10708-5618
From Kim:
A SURVIVAL KIT
FOR EVERYDAY LIVING:
Items Needed:
Toothpick
Rubber Band
Band Aid
Pencil
Eraser
Chewing Gum
Mint
Candy Kiss
Tea Bag
Why???
1) TOOTHPICK - to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others.
2) RUBBER BAND - to remind you to be flexible, things might not always go the way you want, but it will work out.
3) BAND AID - to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's.
4) PENCIL - to remind you to list your blessings everyday.
5) ERASER - To remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and its OK.
6) CHEWING GUM - to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.
7) MINT - to remind you that you are worth a mint.
8) CANDY KISS - to remind you that everyone needs a kiss or a hug everyday.
9) TEA BAG - to remind you to relax daily and reflect on all the positive things in your life.
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, share a
word of praise and they always open their hearts to us.
From the cradle to the hearse, there is always a day that could be worse.
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